Just venting....

So, I've fallen for this guy. I know, I know, the story of every teenage girls' life. we fall for someone, we think that it's the end of the world if they don't notice us or happen to like someone else, or even worse, turn out to be a major jerk and end up breaking your heart on purpose. Then there are the ones who are your friends, and are totally oblivious to the fact that you like them, or think that it's just going to go away and it's fine, so they continue to flirt with other girls in front of you anyway. Stupid boys. Then there's this guy that I think I am totally giving the wrong impression to, the impression that I like him as more than a friend when I don't. I like him as just a friend, and I hate the fact that I might be giving him the wrong impression, but what can I do? I know, stop leading him on, but I never meant to in the first place, so how do I stop now? I was just being myself, wasn't I? Aren't I? I don't know.
Anyway, back to the guy that I DO like, I really am at a loss of what to do. I just keep feeling like I'm not good enough for him, that there's something that I don't have like I'm lacking an extremely important quality, and then I start to nitpick at everything about me, my weight, my life habits, the way I act, talk, my grades, the way that no guys that I am ever interested in like me. These last couple weeks, I've worried more and watched my weight more than I have ever watched it. And I've been comparing myself to a girl that I know he does (or at least used to, I don't know if he still does) like and wondering what she has that I don't, the I get even more depressed. And I've tried that experiment where you let them come to you instead of always going up to them, and not once has it worked. Mostly because I can't help not going up and talking to him when I have something to say, or when I need help with something and he's there to help me.
As the book says, Boys Are Stupid, Throw Rocks At Them. I don't actually know if that would make me feel better, but you never know.
You want to know what the really funny/ironic thing here is? I used to make fun of girls who got like this over guys ALL THE TIME. AND I swore that I would never act that way over a boy no matter what. Karma, I'm telling you.
Anyway, I've been in this position once before, I can get through it again. It won't be fun or easy, but I can. With the Lord, all things are possible, even what seems like a hopeless situation and impending heartbreak. :)