So, lately, I've been experiencing many life-changing moments. Some good, some bad, some that could be taken either way, depending on my reaction. Now, I've always been pretty good at adapting to change, but very rarely in my life have I had to deal with multiple life-changing experiences all at once.
The first time was when my brother was on a mission in Russia, and my mom got breast cancer. He hadn't been gone for very long when we found out about her cancer, and I was still getting into the rhythm of being the only child at home. And then suddenly, not only was I the only child at home, but I was the only healthy person at home.I was ten at the time, and if I'm being honest, I don't really remember much of that time in my life.
But lately, it seems as though every change that is happening is big. The first one being that I got into my first college musical, which is exciting, and soooo much fun! I am having so much fun in rehearsal, and can not wait until I get to go again. I'm also helping out with some of the sewing that needs to be done, which I love to do :) I'm really looking forward to our performances, even though it will mean the end. I've made friends and have learned so much so far, that I know this will be one of my favorite memories of college :)
One of the other bits of news was the fact that I need a job. Like, desperately, need a job (note the present tense). And despite all my efforts, I am still looking. Then, I found out that my car was broken, and after spending a bunch of money thinking I was fixing it, discovered that it was beyond repair and I would have to buy a new one, or go without. Since I am currently a poor college student with no source of income, I have to go without. I do, however, have enough saved up from the job I had previously, plus a little extra from a scholarship I got, to buy a bike for under $200. This will be a big change because one, I live in an extremely hot place where we don't really have seasons, just boiling hot, hot, warm, and slightly cool, and occasionally, cold. Occasionally. And, I haven't actually ridden a bike since I was around twelve years old. And the fact that there's a hill I would have to ride up and down every single day, and that my school is a good distance away, makes riding a bike everywhere not the best thing in the world, no matter how much I've missed it.
So, first, financial troubles, not only for me, but for other members of my family. Then, car breaks. Then, finding out that a family member has a big medical problem that I was the last to find out about. That bit of news was what I fondly call, the absolute Last. Straw. Because the whole not having a job thing will pass eventually. I will get a job, and be able to save up for a nice, cheap, used car, and anything else I need (laptop, rent, food, etc...). And, even though it's not the most ideal of situations, I am genuinely excited at the prospect of buying a bike and riding again, not to mention the fact that I will get a lot of exercise done while doing something I actually enjoy. But learning that someone whom I love dearly has this issue, and that I was not told and found out through overhearing a phone conversation between them and another family member?! Because this is, at least in my eyes, a BIG deal. This is not something that's just going to go away without some serious help, and it is not going to be easy, for any of us, most of all the one who has to go through this ordeal. And being excluded from knowing? Not the best feeling in the world. I understand, I think, why they did it, but it doesn't make me feel any better about it. And I can't tell if that makes me a terrible person or not.
I try to be a positive person, and most of the time, I am. Except lately, that is. It seems like one thing after another is just piling on top of me, and I don't know where to go or what to do, because as soon as I fix one thing, another twenty things will be there, waiting.
The broken car? No problem, I'll just bike everywhere and get in crazy good shape. No job? No worries, I'll just be on a super strict budget and keep applying until I have one. Being in a musical? GREAT. I LOVE IT TO PIECES. But to be excluded from knowledge this vital about someone you love? I don't know if this is because I just barely found out, or what, but it feels like too much on top of everything else.
My life has been changing, it seems, very rapidly lately. And so far, it shows no signs of stopping.
But, as it is with all bad things, I've noticed all the good in my life. I had the good sense to save up enough of my money that I will not be entirely without a way of getting around. I've also realized how amazing all the friends I've made are. I mean, I've always known they were amazing and there for me no matter what, but lately it seems I've needed them more than ever, and they have all stepped up to the plate when called upon, and my love for them has grown more than I ever would have realized it could. I've also realized, more than ever, what is truly important to me in my life, and that by clinging to my faith and to the love that my Heavenly Father has for me, I can get through anything. So, even though the first part of this is mostly me ranting and sounding negative, I know that eventually, this storm will pass, and I will be the stronger for it. So come what may, for I am loved and protected, and with that knowledge, and with obedience to all of God's commandments, I can get through anything. I may be feeling sad, hurt, a bit hopeless, and even a little angry right now, but that's ok. As long as I recognize those feelings and am able to let them go and focus on my love for life and for all those around me, and most of all, my Heavenly Father, and all that I have been so fortunate to be blessed with, I'll be ok. So bring it on, world. Bring. It. On. (But not for a while, please, I think I'm good for now :P)
P.S. Take life changing moments in stride, and know that, though things may be different, that's not necessarily always bad, and without change, we would not have growth or learning. So please, focus more on the positive parts of this long rant of mine. And God bless :)
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Friday, November 16, 2012
College...
Sooooo, I thought that once I got to college that I would be able to focus only on what I like to do, and not have to worry so much about what I don't like. Not true. I skipped my English and math class this whole week, a couple times by accident, but mostly on purpose. I'm just SO bored and over them, but I need to bring my grades up so I can keep my fafsa money and continue going to school. It's not that I don't know the stuff, or that I'm dumb, I'm just being lazy. And bored. That's all for now, I just needed to get my mini rant off my chest :P
Monday, September 24, 2012
Bored in class...
Soooo, I'm sitting here in computer class with nothing to do. I finished everything due for today last week, and the next stuff that's due isn't due for another three weeks or so, so I'm going to give myself a little break. I do have a math test later today, and as I type this I realize that I left my cinema paper at home in my cinema folder. Great. I do have a little time to go home and get it, if I drive super fast and run in and out of my house. Oh well. I can do it!
As you can probably guess (or not, I'm not very good at this yet), I'm trying to stay on the positive side about everything. Thinking positively, eliminating any negative words like "don't" and "can't" and saying "will" and "can" instead. I also need to write two papers tonight. Ok, technically one, but then I'd have to write the second tomorrow, so I'm trying to get both done tonight. They're both on the same subject, so it should be relatively easy. It WILL be relatively easy. (see what I did there? :P)
I'm half tempted to ask if I can just leave, but my professor already told us to do the next assignments if we're done with this week's, but I don't have the right book to do it, plus I don't want to, so yeah.
This is starting to feel more like a journal entry than a blog post. I usually at least try to make my blog posts entertaining and less like the random nonsense that goes on in my head. Even while writing this, my mind keeps going a million miles a minute, thinking about a hundred different things, which, if I wrote them all down, would no doubt confuse you. but I'll give you a glimpse anyway.
I'm thinking about wanting to watch Dead Poet's Society again, and how I'm done with thinking too much about guys seeing as I'm still very young, and the only guys who have hit on me have serious problems, and even if they didn't, I'm still not attracted to them in that way, so I'm good with focusing on other aspects of my life and not worrying about boys anymore. I'm also thinking about when the next LDSSA (a club I'm in, Latter-day Saint student association) meeting is, and what dress I want to buy for the homecoming dance, and about the next SDP meeting (another club, for theatre) and about my audition for the next play, and I'll stop right there. That's a little insight into my mind and how it works. Everything in there has a connection, I swear.
I'm wearing one of my new hats today. A straw fedora with a pink flower ribbon around the band (is that what that part of the hat is called?) It matches my new dress very well. I'm just a walking pink advertisement today. Everytime I wear pink now, I keep thinking about when we talked about the significance of colors and what they mean in cinema class. Pink represents sweetness. White, innocence and purity, red, danger, sensuality, and something else I can't remember, blue is usually very calming, and black is the most powerful color of all. Black represents power, and sensuality, and evil, and fear. When there's black on the screen, or you see someone walk in wearing black, your eye immediately goes to them. It's an attention grabbing color without being presumptuous, no ego, no conceit, just an acknowledgment of the power it holds over our emotions and impressions of it and the person wearing it. It's also a very slimming color :P
I like my theatre and cinema classes a lot. I even like my computer class, too, although I don't really think I want to take one ever again, unless it's a choice between math and computers, then I'd go with computers. I don't like my English or my math class very much. I've never been a big fan of math in the first place, so me not liking it doesn't come as all that big of a surprise, but my verdict on my English class does. English has always been one of my favorite classes. I looked forward to it (for the most part) every day, and enjoyed doing the homework. We read some amazing books, had deep, wonderful discussions, and wrote interesting papers. But that was in high school. In college English, you don't read books. You read the occasional short stories, but that's about it. In college English, you write. A LOT. Now, I like writing, obviously, but for some reason, assigned writing has never been something that I've liked very much. I like being able to write what I want, and when, and how long it is. But what's a girl to do. I also feel that the class is very easy, and can be a bit frustrating at times because of who I'm assigned to sit by. There's this one guy, in his thirties I believe, who does not stop talking smack about the professor. Ok, I get that it's been about 17 years since he was in high school, and this is his first time in college (I'm pretty sure) and all that, but dear goodness! You don't argue with the professor over a question that, while you got wrong because of the wording, others got right, and you don't criticize the way he speaks in front of the teacher himself. The professor in in charge of his classroom, he can do whatever the heck he wants, pretty much. Yeah, you may not always like it, but at least wait until you're out of class and earshot of the teacher to say so!
Anyway, I feel like I've used up enough space with my random rambling today. Until next time, when I will probably be back on here procrastinating writing my papers!
Peace, love, and chocolate, baby. Peace, love, and chocolate.
(And Robert Downey Jr. :P)
P.S. Look up his ^ cd, it's amazing! Love it to death :)
As you can probably guess (or not, I'm not very good at this yet), I'm trying to stay on the positive side about everything. Thinking positively, eliminating any negative words like "don't" and "can't" and saying "will" and "can" instead. I also need to write two papers tonight. Ok, technically one, but then I'd have to write the second tomorrow, so I'm trying to get both done tonight. They're both on the same subject, so it should be relatively easy. It WILL be relatively easy. (see what I did there? :P)
I'm half tempted to ask if I can just leave, but my professor already told us to do the next assignments if we're done with this week's, but I don't have the right book to do it, plus I don't want to, so yeah.
This is starting to feel more like a journal entry than a blog post. I usually at least try to make my blog posts entertaining and less like the random nonsense that goes on in my head. Even while writing this, my mind keeps going a million miles a minute, thinking about a hundred different things, which, if I wrote them all down, would no doubt confuse you. but I'll give you a glimpse anyway.
I'm thinking about wanting to watch Dead Poet's Society again, and how I'm done with thinking too much about guys seeing as I'm still very young, and the only guys who have hit on me have serious problems, and even if they didn't, I'm still not attracted to them in that way, so I'm good with focusing on other aspects of my life and not worrying about boys anymore. I'm also thinking about when the next LDSSA (a club I'm in, Latter-day Saint student association) meeting is, and what dress I want to buy for the homecoming dance, and about the next SDP meeting (another club, for theatre) and about my audition for the next play, and I'll stop right there. That's a little insight into my mind and how it works. Everything in there has a connection, I swear.
I'm wearing one of my new hats today. A straw fedora with a pink flower ribbon around the band (is that what that part of the hat is called?) It matches my new dress very well. I'm just a walking pink advertisement today. Everytime I wear pink now, I keep thinking about when we talked about the significance of colors and what they mean in cinema class. Pink represents sweetness. White, innocence and purity, red, danger, sensuality, and something else I can't remember, blue is usually very calming, and black is the most powerful color of all. Black represents power, and sensuality, and evil, and fear. When there's black on the screen, or you see someone walk in wearing black, your eye immediately goes to them. It's an attention grabbing color without being presumptuous, no ego, no conceit, just an acknowledgment of the power it holds over our emotions and impressions of it and the person wearing it. It's also a very slimming color :P
I like my theatre and cinema classes a lot. I even like my computer class, too, although I don't really think I want to take one ever again, unless it's a choice between math and computers, then I'd go with computers. I don't like my English or my math class very much. I've never been a big fan of math in the first place, so me not liking it doesn't come as all that big of a surprise, but my verdict on my English class does. English has always been one of my favorite classes. I looked forward to it (for the most part) every day, and enjoyed doing the homework. We read some amazing books, had deep, wonderful discussions, and wrote interesting papers. But that was in high school. In college English, you don't read books. You read the occasional short stories, but that's about it. In college English, you write. A LOT. Now, I like writing, obviously, but for some reason, assigned writing has never been something that I've liked very much. I like being able to write what I want, and when, and how long it is. But what's a girl to do. I also feel that the class is very easy, and can be a bit frustrating at times because of who I'm assigned to sit by. There's this one guy, in his thirties I believe, who does not stop talking smack about the professor. Ok, I get that it's been about 17 years since he was in high school, and this is his first time in college (I'm pretty sure) and all that, but dear goodness! You don't argue with the professor over a question that, while you got wrong because of the wording, others got right, and you don't criticize the way he speaks in front of the teacher himself. The professor in in charge of his classroom, he can do whatever the heck he wants, pretty much. Yeah, you may not always like it, but at least wait until you're out of class and earshot of the teacher to say so!
Anyway, I feel like I've used up enough space with my random rambling today. Until next time, when I will probably be back on here procrastinating writing my papers!
Peace, love, and chocolate, baby. Peace, love, and chocolate.
(And Robert Downey Jr. :P)
P.S. Look up his ^ cd, it's amazing! Love it to death :)
Monday, September 3, 2012
College, boys, books, poetry, friends, and everything else confusing :)
Sooo college has started. Aaaaand, I'm back in my procrastinating ways again. I thought once I got to college and saw the workload it would go away. Apparently not :P Even as I type this, I have a powerpoint to go and finish for a 9am class tomorrow. But, seeing as I just can't seem to focus on any one thing at the moment, I decided to write down some of my thoughts and get it all out there.
First off, college. The only really big difference I've found at college from high school is that the campus is a lot bigger and harder to navigate. The classes, for me anyway, are about the same size, if not smaller. And there's a lot more cussing, too. Some people get really creative with their cussing, too. And some just say a cuss word every other word, whether it makes sense or not. But I like college so far. I enjoy meeting new people and gaining new (or recycled) knowledge. I like my hours, although my Mondays and Wednesdays are more than a little hectic :P And I just like the overall atmosphere (most of the time). I feel like I'm finally starting to break out of my little bubble and am getting a peek of what waits for me out in the real world. I just wish there were less F words flying around everywhere. Man, I hate that word.... I can stand just about any other word, but not that one. It just gets on my nerves.
Hmmmm, boys. Well, they exist. Plenty of 'em. BUT, the only ones I've really interacted with so far are either 1. trying to play me (yeah right. I may be super nice and all when I turn them down, but I know what they're trying to get at. Sorry boys, I am NOT an idiot, and I am most definitely NOT easy or going to fall for any of your games.) or 2. already in a committed relationship of some sort, with a girlfriend or married. Even in singles ward, it seems that every guy I meet already has a girlfriend or an 'about to become his girlfriend' girl. Soooo, yeah. There are a couple guys I kind of have my eye on, but no big crushes or anything like that yet. I will say that the guys from my ward are super nice and always helpful, and are basically really cool guys. But, overall, boys, men, guys, the Male Species in general, continues to confound, baffle, and in every way and meaning of the word, confuse me. I can never tell what they're thinking, or what they mean when they say something, or why they do what they do, etc..... But I love 'em anyway, so it's all good :) And, from what I hear, boys are just as equally confused by us, which kinda levels out the playing field, I guess.
Books. If you know me, then you know that I LOVE to read, and books are some of my favorite things in the whole world. I can (and do) spend hours at any place that has any genre of books just looking through them and wishing that I was a millionaire of some sort so I could buy them all, and then also wishing that I could manipulate time, so I could have time to read them all. The last book I've read, outside of my textbooks for school, was The Fault In Our Stars by John Green. And while not one of my all time favorites, it's very good. It made me laugh, cry, and was a very lovely read. It's an amazing book, check it out sometime! Beware, does involve some cussing, and a (kind of) sex scene. The sex scene isn't really graphic in any way. It just mostly describes the feelings. But then again, I kind of just skimmed it and went to the next chapter :P
Poetry. I have been writing some odds and ends of poems lately. Just been in that kind of mood, I guess. Maybe later, I'll post some of them on here, but not in this post. Just suffice it to say, that the movie Dead Poets Society, has really influenced and inspired me a great deal when it comes to my writing and how I write, and why, and basically everything. From why we write, to how we should write (like ourselves, what we feel, etc.) to how we should live our lives, it's a great movie. Sad ending, but oh so inspiring, and an AMAZING performance from Mr. Robin Williams himself. He's always been one of my favorites, but this movie really reminded me why that is. He's incredible, and I wish he would do at least one more movie like this that's not rated R so that I can watch it. Dead Poets Society is PG, by the way, and if you haven't seen it yet, go and watch it right now. Like, stop reading this and somehow find a way to see this movie. It is incredible.
My best friend came down from college in Thatcher to visit her hometown for the 3-day weekend, and I got to see her for a few hours :) From shopping for candy and shoes at the mall (yes, I am still thinking about those shoes, and I want to go back to the mall and see if they're still there and buy them, if I can, tomorrow) to getting hit on by a complete stranger, and watching young kids perform traditional Spanish (Mexican? Not sure :( ) dances on stage, and just talking about boys and life and college and everything else under the moon, it was a ton of fun :) We're best friends for a reason, and even with the distance, we've managed to keep in touch through Facebook, text, phone calls, and letters. So grateful to have her, and every one of my friends in my life. They have been my support system through everything, and I couldn't ask for better people to have in my life :)
Well, I guess that's all folks! :P Tune in next time, where I reveal the secret to life.
P.S. The answer is 42 ;)
P.P.S. If you don't know that movie/book reference, you lead a sad, lonely, deprived life. Go look it up. Right now.
P.P.PS. Ok, maybe not sad and lonely, but definitely deprived :P
First off, college. The only really big difference I've found at college from high school is that the campus is a lot bigger and harder to navigate. The classes, for me anyway, are about the same size, if not smaller. And there's a lot more cussing, too. Some people get really creative with their cussing, too. And some just say a cuss word every other word, whether it makes sense or not. But I like college so far. I enjoy meeting new people and gaining new (or recycled) knowledge. I like my hours, although my Mondays and Wednesdays are more than a little hectic :P And I just like the overall atmosphere (most of the time). I feel like I'm finally starting to break out of my little bubble and am getting a peek of what waits for me out in the real world. I just wish there were less F words flying around everywhere. Man, I hate that word.... I can stand just about any other word, but not that one. It just gets on my nerves.
Hmmmm, boys. Well, they exist. Plenty of 'em. BUT, the only ones I've really interacted with so far are either 1. trying to play me (yeah right. I may be super nice and all when I turn them down, but I know what they're trying to get at. Sorry boys, I am NOT an idiot, and I am most definitely NOT easy or going to fall for any of your games.) or 2. already in a committed relationship of some sort, with a girlfriend or married. Even in singles ward, it seems that every guy I meet already has a girlfriend or an 'about to become his girlfriend' girl. Soooo, yeah. There are a couple guys I kind of have my eye on, but no big crushes or anything like that yet. I will say that the guys from my ward are super nice and always helpful, and are basically really cool guys. But, overall, boys, men, guys, the Male Species in general, continues to confound, baffle, and in every way and meaning of the word, confuse me. I can never tell what they're thinking, or what they mean when they say something, or why they do what they do, etc..... But I love 'em anyway, so it's all good :) And, from what I hear, boys are just as equally confused by us, which kinda levels out the playing field, I guess.
Books. If you know me, then you know that I LOVE to read, and books are some of my favorite things in the whole world. I can (and do) spend hours at any place that has any genre of books just looking through them and wishing that I was a millionaire of some sort so I could buy them all, and then also wishing that I could manipulate time, so I could have time to read them all. The last book I've read, outside of my textbooks for school, was The Fault In Our Stars by John Green. And while not one of my all time favorites, it's very good. It made me laugh, cry, and was a very lovely read. It's an amazing book, check it out sometime! Beware, does involve some cussing, and a (kind of) sex scene. The sex scene isn't really graphic in any way. It just mostly describes the feelings. But then again, I kind of just skimmed it and went to the next chapter :P
Poetry. I have been writing some odds and ends of poems lately. Just been in that kind of mood, I guess. Maybe later, I'll post some of them on here, but not in this post. Just suffice it to say, that the movie Dead Poets Society, has really influenced and inspired me a great deal when it comes to my writing and how I write, and why, and basically everything. From why we write, to how we should write (like ourselves, what we feel, etc.) to how we should live our lives, it's a great movie. Sad ending, but oh so inspiring, and an AMAZING performance from Mr. Robin Williams himself. He's always been one of my favorites, but this movie really reminded me why that is. He's incredible, and I wish he would do at least one more movie like this that's not rated R so that I can watch it. Dead Poets Society is PG, by the way, and if you haven't seen it yet, go and watch it right now. Like, stop reading this and somehow find a way to see this movie. It is incredible.
My best friend came down from college in Thatcher to visit her hometown for the 3-day weekend, and I got to see her for a few hours :) From shopping for candy and shoes at the mall (yes, I am still thinking about those shoes, and I want to go back to the mall and see if they're still there and buy them, if I can, tomorrow) to getting hit on by a complete stranger, and watching young kids perform traditional Spanish (Mexican? Not sure :( ) dances on stage, and just talking about boys and life and college and everything else under the moon, it was a ton of fun :) We're best friends for a reason, and even with the distance, we've managed to keep in touch through Facebook, text, phone calls, and letters. So grateful to have her, and every one of my friends in my life. They have been my support system through everything, and I couldn't ask for better people to have in my life :)
Well, I guess that's all folks! :P Tune in next time, where I reveal the secret to life.
P.S. The answer is 42 ;)
P.P.S. If you don't know that movie/book reference, you lead a sad, lonely, deprived life. Go look it up. Right now.
P.P.PS. Ok, maybe not sad and lonely, but definitely deprived :P
Friday, November 4, 2011
Long time......
Ok, so I really need to stop making it such a long time in between posts on here. It's my senior year of high-school, and I'm still finding it really hard to believe that I'm actually graduating this year. I finally decided on what I want to do with my life, now to just narrow it down to a major, maybe two. I've alwyas kind of wanted a double major, as crazy as that sounds. Anyway, I'm taking the SAT tomorrow, hope it goes well, the only part about it that I'm really nervous about is the math portion. Math has never really been a srtong point in my life, and since I finished my math requirements for school last year, I haven't been in a math class for quite some time, unless you count chemistry. I'm still looking for a job. I really need money for college and life and everything, only problem is, if I get a job, I'd have to ask for time off right away because of the schedule for the school play I'm in. Oh, yeah, I'm in the school play, by the way :P It's really fun so far, but soon we're going to start having to be memorized and everything, and things are going to start getting really stressful really fast. And also if I get a job, there's no guarantee that I can audition for the school musical, either. Oh well, I'll just wait until college or after or something. I'm still young. But still, I would hate to miss out on it. Especially since all my friends are trying out for it.
Anyway, my mom and I got into a little fight earlier about my college plans and how I intend to pay for it and all that. My mom says that I'm not being very practical about it all, that I need to get a job and start earning money before I can even consider applying to a university, maybe even community college. I want, no NEED to go to college next year. I'm not going to end up as one of those people who "took a year off" and then never ended up going. I've always wanted to go to college, and I WILL. One way or the other. Thing is, I don;t have the grades for a scholarship. I mean, they're good grades, A's and B's, but not good enough. And I haven't played my cello in a year, so no hope there. Besides the fact that I don't want to major in anything to do with cello, as much as I love it.
I don't know, things will work out in the end. I'll just keep looking for a job and praying and hoping, and something will turn up. I'm half tempted to sell half my stuff just for some money to put towards college. I tired selling some of my books and a couple movies to this place called Half-Price books today, and I only got ten dollars from it. I brought at least 6 books (one of them signed by the author himself) and two or three movies, all in really good condtition, and all I got was ten bucks. And when I tried to give it to my mom to pay her back for something, she told me to use it as my lunch money. So there goes that.
I'll figure something out, I always do. And life goes on, whether we like it or not. And as long as it's going, I'm going to keep trying my best.
Anyway, my mom and I got into a little fight earlier about my college plans and how I intend to pay for it and all that. My mom says that I'm not being very practical about it all, that I need to get a job and start earning money before I can even consider applying to a university, maybe even community college. I want, no NEED to go to college next year. I'm not going to end up as one of those people who "took a year off" and then never ended up going. I've always wanted to go to college, and I WILL. One way or the other. Thing is, I don;t have the grades for a scholarship. I mean, they're good grades, A's and B's, but not good enough. And I haven't played my cello in a year, so no hope there. Besides the fact that I don't want to major in anything to do with cello, as much as I love it.
I don't know, things will work out in the end. I'll just keep looking for a job and praying and hoping, and something will turn up. I'm half tempted to sell half my stuff just for some money to put towards college. I tired selling some of my books and a couple movies to this place called Half-Price books today, and I only got ten dollars from it. I brought at least 6 books (one of them signed by the author himself) and two or three movies, all in really good condtition, and all I got was ten bucks. And when I tried to give it to my mom to pay her back for something, she told me to use it as my lunch money. So there goes that.
I'll figure something out, I always do. And life goes on, whether we like it or not. And as long as it's going, I'm going to keep trying my best.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Hopeless romantic
That's it. I'm tired of denying it. I, Laura, am a hopeless romantic to the extreme. OK, maybe not that far, but pretty close. All my life I've dreamed about what kind of romance that I would want to have, and after years and years of watching movies and tv shows and seeing people that I know fall in love and get married, I still have absolutely no idea whatsoever of the type of romance I really like.
I really shouldn't be saying "type of romance". More like "styles of wooing" Or even "type of guy" would be more appropriate. Although as I have been informed by many, you don't really have types, you just kind of fall for someone. Why then do I keep getting crushes on guys who all share a lot of the same qualities and personality traits, then?
MOVING ON.
I know (sort of) what I don't like, outside of the obvious things that every girl has on her list (and if they don't, their priorities are messed up and they need to see a therapist ASAP) No alcoholics, no abusers, no druggies, etc... But I'm not really clear on what I DO want. Oh sure, there are some things that I see, both in real life and in movies, that I want, like the way the guy looks at the girl, or how happy they look together, and I know that I want that, but that's pretty much it.
I guess that's all I really need to look for, anyway. Someone who makes me happy and loves me as much (or maybe even more O.O) as I love them and is nice to me and likes kids (I plan on having at least 4, but no more than 6 or 7) and really cheesy movies (like Bride and Prejudice, Spectacular, Spy Kids, etc...)
But if I don't know what I'm looking for, then how do I go about dating the right guys for me?! Am I just supposed to wait for them to come and find me and ask me out? What if they're too shy (I hope not, I'm not a big fan of shyness, but it depends on the degree of shyness) or if they think that I'm not interested, or something.
I want a guy who gives me a single rose, and holds my hand as we walk, and lets me sing around the house without getting too annoyed with me, and likes to go to amusement parks and ride the roller-coasters and play a bunch of the games and will try to win me the biggest stuffed animal they have for me to carry around all day, someone who puts his family ahead of his work, who laughs at my cheesy jokes, and who knows exactly how to calm me down and make me see reason when I start to get one of my mini freak outs. And it wouldn't hurt if he was cute, but I don't think that that will be a problem. If they have a great personality and I genuinely fall for them, I'm pretty sure that I'll find them attractive.
Just have to say one more thing on the topic of romance: I'm watching the Bachelorrette right now, and it is the stupidest thing ever. Or, at least, she's making stupid decisions. I keep sitting here, yelling at her as she lets some really great, awesome guys who truly care for her get away and lets those who are there for all the wrong reasons (i.e. tv time, promoting their own business and actually really hate her in real life, coughBentleycoughcough) AFTER being warned about them from a friend who knows the ex-wife, anyway. I do empathize with her a bit, though. More than I'd like to admit, I'm afraid. But I don't agree with a lot of her decisions. She is just putting herself on the road to depression and despair and heartbreak, and I wish her all the luck in the world. She's gonna need it :/
I really shouldn't be saying "type of romance". More like "styles of wooing" Or even "type of guy" would be more appropriate. Although as I have been informed by many, you don't really have types, you just kind of fall for someone. Why then do I keep getting crushes on guys who all share a lot of the same qualities and personality traits, then?
MOVING ON.
I know (sort of) what I don't like, outside of the obvious things that every girl has on her list (and if they don't, their priorities are messed up and they need to see a therapist ASAP) No alcoholics, no abusers, no druggies, etc... But I'm not really clear on what I DO want. Oh sure, there are some things that I see, both in real life and in movies, that I want, like the way the guy looks at the girl, or how happy they look together, and I know that I want that, but that's pretty much it.
I guess that's all I really need to look for, anyway. Someone who makes me happy and loves me as much (or maybe even more O.O) as I love them and is nice to me and likes kids (I plan on having at least 4, but no more than 6 or 7) and really cheesy movies (like Bride and Prejudice, Spectacular, Spy Kids, etc...)
But if I don't know what I'm looking for, then how do I go about dating the right guys for me?! Am I just supposed to wait for them to come and find me and ask me out? What if they're too shy (I hope not, I'm not a big fan of shyness, but it depends on the degree of shyness) or if they think that I'm not interested, or something.
I want a guy who gives me a single rose, and holds my hand as we walk, and lets me sing around the house without getting too annoyed with me, and likes to go to amusement parks and ride the roller-coasters and play a bunch of the games and will try to win me the biggest stuffed animal they have for me to carry around all day, someone who puts his family ahead of his work, who laughs at my cheesy jokes, and who knows exactly how to calm me down and make me see reason when I start to get one of my mini freak outs. And it wouldn't hurt if he was cute, but I don't think that that will be a problem. If they have a great personality and I genuinely fall for them, I'm pretty sure that I'll find them attractive.
Just have to say one more thing on the topic of romance: I'm watching the Bachelorrette right now, and it is the stupidest thing ever. Or, at least, she's making stupid decisions. I keep sitting here, yelling at her as she lets some really great, awesome guys who truly care for her get away and lets those who are there for all the wrong reasons (i.e. tv time, promoting their own business and actually really hate her in real life, coughBentleycoughcough) AFTER being warned about them from a friend who knows the ex-wife, anyway. I do empathize with her a bit, though. More than I'd like to admit, I'm afraid. But I don't agree with a lot of her decisions. She is just putting herself on the road to depression and despair and heartbreak, and I wish her all the luck in the world. She's gonna need it :/
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Just an experiment....
Leonardo DiCaprio, yes that one guy from such famous movies like Inception and Titanic, age 36, is allegedly going out with 23 year old Blake Lively (Gossip Girl, Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants) O.O Only very recently, Leonardo and his ex girlfriend (whose name I do not remember but apparently is a model and 25 years old) have broken up (again) after a 6-year on/off relationship. Some sources (anonymous) say that they do this every couple years or so. "They could be back together next week," says anonymous source "They're like that."
And miss Blake Lively herself has also recently (not as recently as Leo, though) broken it off after a long term relationship with one of her Gossip Girl male co-stars after about 2-3 years together.
So, not only are Leo and Blake 13 years apart, but they're also both kind of on the rebound. Now, I actually don't think that the age thing is as big a deal as a lot of other people do, but it if someone (cough, Leo, cough cough) repeatedly has girlfriends over ten years younger than him, that either says that they're extremely mature for their age (which, let's face it, to be in that business you either have to be extremely mature or extremely immature), or that he's immature for his age. Or maybe it's just a coincidence that both his last girlfriend and his new one are much younger than him.
How long will this romance last? Hard to say, as they seem to be moving pretty fast. Already, after just being spotted twice together, they're vacationing in Italy, trying to hide the fact that they're there together, but failing miserably. So either this is just a short fling, or the start to the greatest, fastest whirlwind romance of the 21st century.
NEW STORY!
Selena Gomez is no longer hiding the fact that she and Justin Bieber are going out. They were seen together in Hawaii embracing and having fun and being in young love on the beach, apparently with little to no parental supervision, with Selena in a tiny bikini, and Justin showing off his two tattoos , one on his rib-cage and the other on his lower stomach. The young 18 year old actress/singer said that she's tired of hiding their relationship, and although she does like to keep these sort of things private, it's not really possible anymore.
They first went public at a Vanity Fair party after the Oscars, when they kissed outside while waiting for their car. They even had matching outfits on, for goodness sake!
Anyway, this couple is no longer in the dark, and they are enjoying every minute of it, by the looks of things.
NEW STORY!
If you watched the finale of American Idol, then you probably saw winner Scotty McCreery and runner-up Lauren Alaina share a smooch. For many, this cemented the fact that they are an official, couple, but in interviews since then. Scotty says that they're still "just friends." Scotty went on to say that he knew that Lauren was going o kiss him if he won, because she told him before the show. "It was meant to be a joke," he continues, "Lauren's like that."
So, what do you think? Just another cover-up to hide the truth, or is a kiss really just a kiss?
And miss Blake Lively herself has also recently (not as recently as Leo, though) broken it off after a long term relationship with one of her Gossip Girl male co-stars after about 2-3 years together.
So, not only are Leo and Blake 13 years apart, but they're also both kind of on the rebound. Now, I actually don't think that the age thing is as big a deal as a lot of other people do, but it if someone (cough, Leo, cough cough) repeatedly has girlfriends over ten years younger than him, that either says that they're extremely mature for their age (which, let's face it, to be in that business you either have to be extremely mature or extremely immature), or that he's immature for his age. Or maybe it's just a coincidence that both his last girlfriend and his new one are much younger than him.
How long will this romance last? Hard to say, as they seem to be moving pretty fast. Already, after just being spotted twice together, they're vacationing in Italy, trying to hide the fact that they're there together, but failing miserably. So either this is just a short fling, or the start to the greatest, fastest whirlwind romance of the 21st century.
NEW STORY!
Selena Gomez is no longer hiding the fact that she and Justin Bieber are going out. They were seen together in Hawaii embracing and having fun and being in young love on the beach, apparently with little to no parental supervision, with Selena in a tiny bikini, and Justin showing off his two tattoos , one on his rib-cage and the other on his lower stomach. The young 18 year old actress/singer said that she's tired of hiding their relationship, and although she does like to keep these sort of things private, it's not really possible anymore.
They first went public at a Vanity Fair party after the Oscars, when they kissed outside while waiting for their car. They even had matching outfits on, for goodness sake!
Anyway, this couple is no longer in the dark, and they are enjoying every minute of it, by the looks of things.
NEW STORY!
If you watched the finale of American Idol, then you probably saw winner Scotty McCreery and runner-up Lauren Alaina share a smooch. For many, this cemented the fact that they are an official, couple, but in interviews since then. Scotty says that they're still "just friends." Scotty went on to say that he knew that Lauren was going o kiss him if he won, because she told him before the show. "It was meant to be a joke," he continues, "Lauren's like that."
So, what do you think? Just another cover-up to hide the truth, or is a kiss really just a kiss?
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)